Solitary-witch.com

There are generally two types of people in this world; leaders and followers.

Occasionally, if you're exceptionally lucky (and I use that word sarcastically), you find yourself somehow stuck in the purgatory between these two extremes; neither a leader nor a follower, but somehow, someone who belongs and yet... doesn't. Well, that's me. Before I jump ahead of myself, let me get an introduction straight. My name is Janell, and although I belong to the world that everyone else does, in some ways my corner of it is extremely different. Not different in good ways, or in bad ways, but just in ways, some nobody could remotely comprehend, some that everyone can relate to on some level. I thrive on controversy and pride myself on my differences, whilst celebrating my similarities with others. This in itself creates the rather unique person you either love or hate.

B ottomline: This site contains many personal opinions and experiences. It has extremely controversial content which some religious and moral practices may not approve of, namely, occultism (if you didn't already get the hint from the URL). I warn you now so that later you don't decide to flip out on me. Please, if you feel you might have an issue with it, leave now.

Life is short, my friends, don't spend it screaming at me from behind your monitor.

The quick and the short of it: I'm 23, married to a US Navy Submariner (currently an SLC instructor), and just had our first baby in June 2008 - a beautiful little girl named Abigail. My baby girl and husband are the most important things in my life. I own/operate a hobby rattery, create and maintain a few websites, and otherwise enjoy life.

Once upon a time, I had a stomach that didn't fall to the floor. Once I had hips that didn't serve as a baby saddle. Once I even had breasts that weren't on call 24 hours a day -- and "Will it show milk stains?" wasn't my criteria for picking an outfit.

Love is The Truth. Remember that.

I'm that zipper that gets stuck halfway down on your favorite jeans - infuriatingly complex, infuriatingly simple.

I don't care how big you are or tough you act; I'll try my hardest to intimidate you, and usually, I succeed.

If I were a crayon, I'd be black.

I may not be a mechanical genius, but don't take my project away from me and expect me to be happy about it.

I don't like most other women. We're bitches.

My default mode is not "Friend" its "Aquaintance." I may be friendly with you, but that does not necessarily mean I'm your friend. My friends are my family. There are certain boundaries that may not be crossed unless and until you have been grandfathered in. This includes any and all racial or sexist slurs and insults to my rats. Yes, I will be pissed at you if you bag on the furry loves of my life.

I may not win the peeing for distance category in the Drunk Olympics, but I can probably drink you under the table still. That doesn't mean I'm not completely retarded by the end of the night, but I still hang.

It's totally okay to heckle me if I don't comment crassly on the stupid ref call during the game.

Nobody in the inner circle has slept with me, but nobody needs to. It's a clear understanding that I AM the best you will NEVER have.

If your girlfriend screws you over, I'll be the first in line to fuck her up for you. Just because YOU are too nice to hit a girl does not mean that I am. And ladies, if that disturbs you; put on your big girl panties and deal.

I own, quite possibly, the coolest Paint horses around -- a bay breeding stock rabicano (left), and a sorrel frame overo medicine hat. My baby girl is the mare, Amy, I bought her when she was 4 months old. Her registered name is Double Zout , which is Dutch for Double the Salt. No, I'm not Dutch. Neither is she. She's known for pulling telephone poles over, stealing paperback books, and eating hair. She also drinks beer and soda out of a can or bottle, eats Peach Rings and thinks peppermint candies are highly cool.

The newcomer is the gelding, Hunter (right). His registered name is Sirpass , but we just call him Junior. We named him after my friend Dan; and ironically resembles him a lot. He loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, curly fries (warm or cold!), detests Dr. Pepper, and is a total goober for any sort of horsey treat.

There are a hair over few people not in my family that I consider family members - in fact, if you see them on my front page, thats probably them. Most of these people know who they are. Some need help figuring it out. Either way; I love them, and they're very special people to be considered part of the family conglomorate.

My mother and I are best friends and I do a lot with her.. I always have. I was never a shithead teenager with her. I think teenagers who hate their parents just to be "hardcore" are those individuals who should be publically bitchslapped. My parents aren't the ones who screwed me up, I'm just a shithead.

Anti-war is fine, but anti-military makes you a degenerate. There are no two ways about this. Do not debate with a Navy wife. You will not win.

I grew up on a working [albeit, small] ranch.
I could handle five different types of weapon by the age of 13 and my aim is enough to be scary.
That doesn't necessarily mean my aim is good .

Despite that I love all animals, I am not a "humaniac". Humaniacs are morons. Any major extremist group is really, ultimately, a stupid idea. Come on... A vegetarian makes a "better lover"? We disagree with murder so we'll bomb an abortion clinic? Idiots! GOSH!

I'm pro-choice and I'm democratic. You don't want to talk politics with me unless you agree with me. It will probably lead to a debate over morals. In a moral debate, your opponent is always wrong. I'll be happy to prove this point if necessary.

I'm a Wiccan Witch. Yes, I practice witchcraft. No, I can't turn your brother into a monkey. No, I can't turn you into a monkey either . Oh, and between you and me? Harry Potter? Yeah, fiction , Muffy, fiction .

I'm married to and completely in love with a USN Submariner; he's my whole world and probably one of the only reasons I'm not a crazy rat woman or something. He makes me feel beautiful and valuable, he makes my life worthwhile; beyond any doubt the most awesome man e v e r and we're an interesting pair. I'm Irish. He's Scottish. Together we shall have great fun raising miniature alcoholics in skirts.

Surprise! On October 14th, 2007 I found out that I was pregnant with our first child. On December 27th, we found out it was Abigail Teran. We welcomed her into the world June 10th, 2008 via scheduled c-section. And yes, I said first. Who knows how many we'll actually end up with. We've got at least three names picked out.

I shave my legs every day. If I don't, I at least say I do, and claim that the hair grows faster than I can successfully keep up with.

I stick steadfastly to the idea that I look terrible without makeup, and yet 90% of the time I'm much too lazy to put it on.

I'll love you like a sibling, like an ex, and like a best friend.. all at once, all the time. No matter how many times you crap on me, ignore me, or blow me off, I'll still always answer my phone when you call -- because I'm your friend.
And odds are I'll probably do the same thing to you eventually anyway.

I glow in the dark. Redheads do that.
Yes, the curtains match the rug. No, you may not see.

I own rats. Wait. Do me a favor? Don't say "Ew" when I say that.
My rats are my children -- and they are proably more intelligent a lot of the people I know -- that's not saying a lot, since I know some really stupid people, but still. Rats are underestimated by 75% of the population, idolized by at least 10%, and hated by a good 15% for seriously ridiculous reasons.

I have ferrets. Three - Matthew, Tinker & Zzyzx. They rock. Seriously, if you've never met a ferret; you need to. Some people claim they're stinky and mean - and okay, I can agree with the stinky part usually - but they are SO sweet. They're my homies. My furry homies.

I sat on Jenna Jameson's lap. We were both clothed, so the fantasy ends there. I unfortunately have no photographic proof to back up this claim, but come on, what chick would brag about sitting on Jenna's lap unless it was true?!